It's been a long time...

I shouldn't have left you...

It does if you do...(THANKFUL)

The single most important thing I have learned throughout my 4 year JD/MBA journey...Things always work out...(broke, death of a best friend, break ups, mom's layoff, dad's week of heart attacks, broke - again, long nights, early mornings, 2 hour commutes each way, working during the day, school at night and on weekends, ...the list goes on)...but I am here, stronger than ever and at peace! I worked my ass off for this...to be able to say 'I did it' and to be in position to make amazing things happen for the people I love. You are about to witness the power of God and how a single woman's work can transform the lives of many. We are on a mission, a journey, a quest...to live the lives we have always dreamed...and, I am getting it started.

THANK YOU to everyone who has been on this walk with me. Mom, I owe you my life. Dad, I am glad you are still here. Nanna, you are my everything. Sisters, you are my joy. My heart knows love unconditional because of my closest friends and family, hugs and smiles to you all...and a wink (to that $pecial $omeone). You have all held me down, picked me up, and kept me together. My heart is full.

Thank you...Let us make history!

Sending Love, life, success, and Joy,

Tamika Stembridge
JD, MBA, BA, ....lmnop (LOL)

De Minimis-Maximus

The joys of my life are simple, which makes it easy to smile when life gets complicated.

Some count blessings...some count sheep...I prefer to estimate, rounding up (always), and move on. The sum of it all teeters on infinity.

Though from the outside looking in, the value estimates fluctuate between all or nothing.

My thought...give and live it all and then there's nothing left to say but "Damn, I mean...she really diiiid do that!?!"

I digress...

So how can things "of minimal concern" leave such lasting impact?

Good question...that I can't answer...I just know it when I experience it...

De Minimis
Great Grandma: "Baby, if the plane starts going down, just bend over and kiss your ass good bye!"

Maximus
Never stopped me from flying...just marvel at the heavens, thanking God while I'm up there!

De Minimis
Three or more grown ups on a single twin bed...comfortably!?!

Maximus
When its my mom, sisters, my dog (he's 49 in dog years), and at times my Fa$t friend chilling on a Sunday afternoon...a perfect fit!

De Minimis
Homeless man walks by...okay, it happens.

Maximus
The same man saying "Hello sistah, you make hard work look easy. Go head girl!" because he sees you carrying a tote bag, purse and an over sized text book...while wearing heels...an unexpected push to keep going!

De Minimis
6:30 am alarm going off!!!

Maximus
"Good Mornin..." (A la Kanye West)...I'm still here...

Wake UP!
De Minimis-Maximus

...good night...

Ebb & Flow...Breath & Stop...

Happy Anniversary...glad we're still speaking; can't believe it's been a day more than a year.

I felt like I was missing something, so I decided to write, but ended up reading instead. And then, it clicked...

Life has it's ups and downs, but blaming my inner-Libra, my days, weeks, months, and years make life seem like one of those carnival rides that spin so fast you stick to the wall, and come out feeling like you've been shaken like a strong martini.

Stirred, so I write.

The dates of my blog posts eerily reflect a pattern...

From day 1 - 10...life is good.

From about day 12-20...I'm a wreck.

From about day 22 through the end of the month I'm feeling like a champ...climbing the mountains of life once again.

Recognition is the first step...

Knowing helps...but overcoming is tough. In this race against time, I don't really have 8 days a month to be CRAZY...and that's in addition to the 5-7 that I can't escape. In essence, I'm a nut half the time...light as a feather one-third of the time...and Superwoman for the rest. Guess, I'm a crazy ass eagle!

Fly, nonetheless. You'll rarely see me on the ground. I tend to coast publicly, even if nose-diving inside.

I'm running out of hair...but my chubby cheeks are filling in the space...time to make room for other things. Operation "get light" is in progress...literally and figur[atively], because mine has left the building.

The "Ambitious Girl" just let go.

Look Mom, "No Hands!"

...disappears...

HIP HOP GUT SPILL...10/16/10

SUNO Cropped Cape - Fall 2010 (CHECK)

Green Tea with Skim Milk (CHECK)

Books open (CHECK)

MacBook open (CHECK...I mean, how else could I be typing)

Corner seat in class (CHECK)

Notes printed (CHECK)

Mind focused (CHECK...I didn't say on what...)

"I think I've got my swagger back..." ~ Jay Z

Here Goes...

1) Dear BET, Tigger and the hip hop "roundtable"...Eminem ain't #1! That is all.

2) Rich Boy's album was really tight!

3) Kanye successfully changed the way producers cross over into mc'ism...and he seems to have an eye on the fashion world in the same piercing way. I LOVE HIM!

4) Clifford...YOU F'd yourself!!! Dumb ass!!!

5) The new kids...Wiz, Wale, J.Cole, Tabi, Lupe, Cudi are fucking awesome...they're just way too smart (or too high) for the game right now...the world isn't ready.

6) Nikki Minaj has potential...and her marketing team is strong...the lane is wide open...can't be mad at her hustle, even if I don't like all of her music.

7) 504 Boys - "I Can Tell"...is one of my secret favorite songs...as is "Take it Off" 8-Ball & MJG...

8) I'm sooo zoned out right now....

9) 5 weeks left this semester...14 weeks left next semester...less than 20 weeks away from a JD/MBA...FREEDOM and future mogul-dom awaits.

10) ...back to my regularly scheduled Saturday school flow...

F! I'm soooo over this...pray for me...

Deuces...

Yooooo! Who the F wrote "today"? Like Seriously...

PRE-WORK...

Participants:
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(*)TAMIKA (*) , ~*Kellye*~

Messages:
---------
View recent messages

~*Kellye*~: Wat are u so enamored by

(*)TAMIKA (*) : The boy (bats eyes)

~*Kellye*~: That's very nice
~*Kellye*~: Happy for u that ur in such bliss
~*Kellye*~: ({})
~*Kellye*~: Wat else is up
~*Kellye*~: Besides I haven't seen u in like 3 months
~*Kellye*~: Despite attempts on my part /:)

(*)TAMIKA (*) : Work school consume my being! I have like 6.5 hours on the and fri to study, my train commute (10 pages each way) and sunday to rest, and study more. Folgers is the only reason I can smile in the am.
(*)TAMIKA (*) : I tell myself repeatedly...only 1 year, but this shit is tough. I have a ton of support from fam and friends but nobody really understands the pressure I feel. There's a lot riding on this 4 year journey.
(*)TAMIKA (*) : I'm blessed to do it but stressed in the process. I can't break!

~*Kellye*~: Wats riding on it that's so much?
~*Kellye*~: I just did the 3yr journey... The great hope of my family
~*Kellye*~: Dad believes I'll be the one who will take care of him.. Buy him a nice house. .... I can't even get a job. How's that for pressure

(*)TAMIKA (*) : Fb twitter and bbm are my lifelines to the world. Short random prayers keep me grounded. I kinda want to scream loud and pass out for a day, study for a week while the world pauses for me to catch up. But I can't so I'll just vent and keep going.

~*Kellye*~: U have a great job. And u get like straight As almost. U'll be more than ok yo!

(*)TAMIKA (*) : Stream of conscious thought on my fingertips. Sorry I just showered you with my woes. (I'll be sure to thank your eyes and ears when this becomes a blog post when I get to my desk! ;) ) you just saved my sanity!
(*)TAMIKA (*) : Consider me checked!

~*Kellye*~: So I know its exhausting. I wasn't doing that commute but I was working 2 jobs, doing a clinic and taking 16 law school credits.. I understand the pressure ({})
~*Kellye*~: And I had no scholarship money and barely got by on $$ I get it
~*Kellye*~: Well vent if u have to
~*Kellye*~: Its ok to say "no I can't do it" sometimes
~*Kellye*~: If u want ur sanity

(*)TAMIKA (*) : Toast to the douchebags! Take a sip for the assholes...I'm foolish!
(*)TAMIKA (*) : (Now reading your bbm's) shhhhhh

~*Kellye*~: Lol fool
~*Kellye*~: Glad I could be a lifeline tho!

(*)TAMIKA (*) : ...I get it (everything you said)...which is why I try not to complain...but every now and then I've got to release. I will get more coffee...get through my day...read your notes bcuz there's no way I'll read 100 pages tonight)...do my assignment in the morning (thank god the other class I'm behind in is cancelled...will be even further behind next week) and live on to see another day...god willing...for now...cheers to life! Shit the air feels good in my lungs and I'm fat which means I ain't starving...as we were!!! ({})

SHUFFLE...

Arrive Penn Station...stop at card shop...pick up these...

(see somewhere on your screen...first time uploading pics)

HOROSCOPE...

Your willingness to take enough time to reflect on a personal matter can clear a path to a magical and memorable experience. Unfortunately, your resistance to change grows when you focus on your goals instead of on the journey that leads to your destination. Part of your current lesson is about control; loosening your grip on the reins will also free you from your own restraints.

LETTING GO...

As you were...

Because Life is Exactly What We're Experiencing...

I used to fret a lot about a lot of things...

What to wear...how I'd pay for things (still do this some times)...what people would think if I (finish however you'd like)...how did that come off to (whomever)...I hope I didn't (offend, affect, hurt, hinder, anger, sadden, disrespect, burden...again whomever)...What to wear (Yes, this was my biggest fret, and now that I work NYC...just off of "Fashion Ave" the fret has resurfaced ~ learning to deal!)...

But after a whirlwind since about March of this year (the day I landed in SA)...I fret less, forget more, and forgive myself for being myself. I like clothes. I love hip hop. I work hard...can't help it. I love even harder...again, can't help it. I hate foolishness, though I sometimes participate in it...hell, it has its place in life too. I miss my friends. I adore my family. Fa$t is just what I prefer! (unscramble/decode at leisure) And, you know what...I'm cool with all of that.

Yes, I'm in law school (and business school). Yes, I work in a modest office, surrounded by uber talented people, dwarfed by rods of amazing clothes instead of red-wells, dark walls. My CEO plays Drake, African music, and 80's rock (all in the same day). And my boss drops an "F-bomb" or two on a regular basis but she gets things DONE... a real "make it happen" kind of girl. It's a privileged life for a girl like me. I love it!

I sit next to attorneys on the train and they have no idea they're in the company of a future professional peer. I watch "the corporate blue shirts" shuffle off to their 9-5 (well 10-6) cubicles and corner offices each day. I pass homeless people, cigarette peddlers, and newspaper passer-outers along the way. I stop at some random spot every morning and get a small or medium coffee and fix it just like my grandma did when I was a kid (light and sweet...but unfortunately have succumbed to Equal and Splenda instead of the regular stuff...yeah, it'll kill me, but so could a bus...I digress). I greet the doorman. I crack my computer and click the keys until the day's work is done. And at some evening hour I saunter along the sidewalk, the train tracks, and the streets to find my way home.

I play with my son/dog. I eat dinner with my Nanna. Then I laugh with my mom. I $peed up the street to catch a Fa$t hug. And I'm off to chill out with my BFF for a bit. I ease down the road to find my way home. And there you have it folks, it's tomorrow already. [REPEAT]

That is life, for me, these days. And you know what, I'm good with that.

I still daydream about the kind of days I'll have when MIDDY S. Enterprises takes off. I still drift off into space wondering if this is how it was supposed to be. I still look up and ask God, "am I getting this right?" And I never stop imagining how things would have been if I'd done things differently.

But you know what??? At the end of the day (or the beginning of tomorrow) "IT IS WHAT IT IS!" (Pardon the use of such overused phrases...they are however, very applicable and true in this case.)

Life is what we're experiencing. Living is what we're doing. Good, bad, or otherwise. We're here. This is it! PERIOD. No more, no less.

So I'll end this thing the same way I end most things these days ... ***Kanye-shrug*** I'm really not caring beyond the moment (or at least trying to look as such).

(Goes on with her life)

No closing...no profound statement...no creative crescendo...no happy ending...no poignant promise...no pregnant pause...

This is it folks...I'm done...

So why am I still writing.

I guess I can't even really accept the fact that it's over...but IT still goes on.

(Living...)

(Yep, still doing it...)

(Why are you still reading?)

(You are missing out on something.)

(Oh well, this is a part of life too...)

Okay, damn. I'm done.

For real this time.

(You people just don't know when to quit.)

(Neither do I.)

(Need to get to work...but goofing off is a part of the work day...believe me, the finance people baked that into your salary...it's part of the bottom line.)

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P.S. Folks, I wrote this last night before bed, copied and pasted it into this here text box. Please do not "fire yourself" by blogging, tweeting, poking, IM'ing, texting, or whatever 'ing you do during work hours. I told you the story of my day, but I couldn't tell you everything.

I'm a "Night [W]ri[t]er!"

Fin.