Weary...

"...on that independent shitttt...trade it all for a husband and some kids...you ever wonder what it all really mean...you wonder if you'll ever find your dreams..." ~ Yeezy, I Wonder

It's been a while. A lot has changed. All is still well, just different. The days are running together. The nights seem non-existent. The grind is ever-present. It's final exam season again.

In spite of the tests of my knowledge, pressures on my time, and stresses on my life...I'm thankful for the brains, beauty, and guts to endure. It's the life I chose or the one that's been assigned to me. Never given more than I can handle...so I press on.

It's Saturday/Sunday...I'm on the bridge, ready to jump...jump down the stairs, climb into my car, and roll down the street to my home, where my bed awaits...but for now...I write...a paper and a blog at the same time!

In this moment of confused clarity, I remembered a song..."Weary" by Amel Larrieux (formerly of the newly reunited Groove Theory), and it took me back to a place - a place very similar to where I am in this very moment. Strong, but ready to be weak in the knees. Focused, but ready to fall into the arms of another. Free, but willing to be imprisoned by love. I want it all, at the end of the day.

So, as I return to my state of studious...I leave you with the words of a great songbird.

Signed,

Never weak, but a little...

Weary...

This woman is growing weary
Of having to be so strong
Of having to pretend I’m made of stone
So I won’t end up with no broken bones
I can’t fight every battle alone

I want someone to lift me
Heal my wounds and give me kisses on my head
Say words that should be said
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And lay down my guard

Chorus:
If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing this soldier song
(repeat)

whomever said love was overrated
must not be getting’ none
my independent days have had their fun
but when the parties over
and the workin’ day is done
I just want to come home to someone

I want a love to take me
As I am not make me compromise myself
Or be like no one else
Fear is not the matter
I would so much rather open up my heart
And just lay down my guard

Chorus:
If I could trust someone
To have my back and never do me wrong
Then I would give my love up
Just like that stop singing this soldier song